My friends and fellow choristers were futzing with a sticheron for vespers of next Tuesday, and asked me to have a hand at it. The problem was that the Greek version was too soft and the American version was too hard (or vice versa). That is, the Greek version sounded like it was translated by someone who doesn’t know English very well, and the American version by someone who, though a native speaker, also doesn’t speak English very well (that’s my take, not my friends’).
Since I need to get to work early tomorrow, and since I put a blog post’s worth of effort into it, I’ll go ahead and post it here. Read it carefully, there will be a survey question at the end:
I greatly delight to behold your Resurrection, O my Savior,
Which you allowed Thomas to confirm by the touch of his own hand.
Henceforth we proclaim and teach that You are one Person undivided,
With two natures and two energies uncommingled.
Truly You are both God and Man.
Here’s the survey question: in the second-to-last line, I picked up “uncommingled” from the Greek-to-English version; my friend used the word “unconfused” in her version. They mean basically the same, except that I was concerned that someone might take the more common meaning of “confused”as “befuddled.” On the other hand, the long “U” sings better than the “gled.” The rest of the committee preferred “confused.” I gave my reasons, but told them — and it’s true — that I’m not emotionally invested in either word. Still I’d be interested in anyone else’s thoughts on the question and especially if someone else knows an even better word.
Until tomorrow night or Saturday.